The computer drains me. I feel as if I have no space, as if a force tries to suffocate my spirit. I read at least a thousand tweets per day, looking out for that one job I can genuinely write an application letter for. A year and a half since I graduated. 2 Masters, four languages. Nothing fully paid so far.
I write about a letter per day now. I have to orient first, verify if I would want to do the job and be capable of filling the position. After writing I check the letter, then send it. Same story for the CV.
One rejection after the other, even at the most basic jobs. Am I doing something wrong? Lack of experience? Lack of guts? Wrong wording? Background too diverse? Not focussed enough on the job’s content? Wrong font? Lack of picture? Face too strange? Did I do the wrong studies? Am I not serious enough? Too arrogant? Too controversial? Is it because I don’t phone them with some smart question? Not enough initiative? Was I born on the wrong spot? Am I among the first to pay the punishment on behalf of the slave driving West?
In The Netherlands, there currently is one vacancy available for every fifth unemployed. Politicians call it a catastrophe. Ours has been called a wasted generation. We are supposedly not gaining enough self-confidence for the future job market, which puts us into a downward spiral. Some suggest our lives are already over.
So I read advise from the big professionals. Read about how other people, braver than me, start their own initiatives. I talk with others in the same situation. Help them where I can. Write my blog. Do some volunteer work. Garden. Apply some more. Get more rejections. Get stressed. Change the title of my folder from “jobhunt” into “jobsearch”. Relax again. Watch seasons pass.
If you’re out there, unemployed as I am, you are not alone. We should not panic even when people give us good advise. We shouldn’t try to run faster. It will scare them away.
I also have no clue what we should do. Enjoy life, I guess. Be creative in whichever way we can. Hope some will be lucky. “Stay positive”.
I honestly don’t know.