Decorating judgements

Last week, I wrote about the fact that we have institutionalized judgment, that we overly value it and even publically thrive on the act. Today I’d like to propose that if indeed we appreciate judgement so much, let’s take it a step further. Give it a personal touch. Add a little cherry to the cake.

Imagine you see a fat bald guy on the street. Someone whom you’d classify as ‘eating disorder’. One of those people that starts sweating after a hundred meter’s walk and sits down for a break after another. You could call this person an elephant and turn your head away, but you could also keep looking at him and wonder how a long grey trunk would suit him. If he was an elephant and would walk through the street, would it cause cracks in the asphalt? You would probably feel it shaking. And what if he would be covered with some amazingly detailed Persian carpet and seated upon by a Maharadja? He could be walking in a parade. Would that make you smile? Perhaps he’d smile back.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it? It is why I plea for more imaginative judgement. Spice it up a little. What good is a sentence such as ‘I don’t like her looks’, if you can say ‘her screaming khaki shirt reminds me of the day when I lost my cat and went for a drink in that bar with this plant that seemed to have grown on some volcano in Singapore, and I burned myself on it. What an unlucky day that was’. People will understand you better. Even that girl in the khaki shirt will accept that you don’t want to talk to her.

So, next time you reject somebody for a job because of his darker skin tone, don’t go with ‘you didn’t meet the criteria’, that hardly bears witness of a thoughtful approach. Be creative: ‘during the interview, I saw a mosquito on your nose, and when it flew out of the window, I saw it grow in size and land on a woman on the street and when it was done with her, all that was left was a pile of bones wrapped in some skin. I cannot take the risk that your blood type has that effect on other mosquitoes in the office: that would compromise the productivity of the other employees’ is far easier to digest for the applicant. There, you have a clear and well framed reason of which the candidate may think: ‘o well, at least she considered me seriously, better luck next time’.

Do you see my point? There is a lot of potential out there to make the world a better place by taking judgement to a new level. And there’s societal momentum for it. I say: ‘let’s go!’.

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