Where did all the stories go?

Have they evaporated into the air of my mind? Does that mean they’re still with me? Have they melted into the crevices of my memory? Slithered into spotless realms?

I find that searching for the subjects I deemed important has much in common with trying to remember dreams. One moment they appear to me vividly. Alive and meaningful. The next I’m awake and they’re gone. Murdered by nihilist logic. Their life inaccessible. Pushing myself to find them will push them deeper into the darkness. All I can do is sit back and relax. If my raging storm lays deep enough, they may appear to me again. Like frightened birds, looking to make peace.

And then I’m overrun with colours and themes and beauties and trees with walking roots, and they all speak to each other in a language that makes sense, so tangible and obvious, that I’d almost like to grab it. Think them. Write it all at once. The sense it makes. But they’re gone.

And yet there can be days when they present themselves in manageable quantities. Drops of life, so we may say. Little drops containing big, blue, green, purple worlds. Gateways to endlessness. Like dreamer, like dreamt.

Drip, drip, drip. And the sense is gone. Silently residing in a word I can’t remember.



9 thoughts on “Synaesthesia”

  1. Hi Gilles, interesting post. Now… just checking: are you a synaesthete? I am a graphaeme-colour and spatial synaesthete and your post title definitively grabbed my attention.

    1. Hi Natalia,

      I’m not a syneasthete, but I do see colours around people and instrument strings sometimes, and in such dream state experiences as I referred to here, some of the senses definitely blend. But not usually.

      How is it for you?

      1. Hi there, I’m not sure whether dream states count towards synaesthesia and that’s a very interesting topic for research actually.
        In my case, every letter, word, number has a colour. Most words have more than one colour. My colours rarely change. For example, number “8” is blue, similar to indigo blue. If you ask me in one years time what colour is 8, I bet I’ll say the same. In fact, the colours I see are extremely specific in terms of their shade. I also see in my mind’s eye the months, weeks, days, hours…. in a spatial sequence “in the air around me”. It’s difficult to explain.

        And, just that you know “Gilles” has a bluey dark purple around the “G” and then it’s orangy gold colour. So, a very beautiful name I would say πŸ™‚

  2. Haha, oh cool! Yes, no I don’t have that. I did read about it before. But it’s not the same for everyone, right?

    And how about sounds? On my name for example, you officially pronounce it in French, would that change its colour for you? Or is it purely visual?

    Your name is also very beautiful by the way. Because of the rythm and all the a’s. Which colours does it have?


  3. Beautiful thoughts, Gilles. As a numerologist I know that letters have their color and sound, everything has enjoying when teaching my students about it. And I like the way you expressed your thoughts about synergism of thoughts, writing, colors, dreams…
    I smiled when reading about thoughts or story ideas when vanishing. The time back I wrote a poem about it with the question where do they go and when turning back, are they the same. I enjoyed this little story having the smile all the time during reading it.

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